Motherhood

“Parenting is like gardening. You can not control the color of the flower or when it blooms, but you can pick the weeds and prune the plants so that the flower blossoms to greatest advantage.”



Written June 3rd.
I am going through a transformation that is indescribable. Its like I don’t even know who I was before I was a mother. I mean I do but that person was so different than who I am now. I have experienced the miracle of giving birth to another human being. How incredible is that. I am so blessed. Thank you God! Being a mother defines me, completes me and has helped me find myself. This is my calling.

I can’t believe what she does to me. The way I love every minute with her yet savor the moments with out her and long for our reunion again. She brightens my day, gives me purpose, teaches me and strengthens me. She shows me innocence and joy, she makes me happy every time I look at her. She has made me a better person. I truly believe that. She has shown me how to love in a new way using patience and understanding to direct my words and actions. She has taught me sacrifice and self control. (still have not mastered) Not just when it comes to taking care of her but also in other areas of my life. I’ve been able to focus on the simple things in life and find joy in them. Giving up the things that I “want” in order to have the things that I “need” is a brand new thing for me. I’m learning to not focus on material things for my satisfaction.

Written June 25th.
I’ve been working on this post for a while now. Not like it’s a masterpiece or anything I just have been adding my thoughts here and there to it because there’s just so much to say about motherhood. I love that little girl so much I can’t even think clearly sometimes. She has totally rocked my world (in a good way) and my heart aches just thinking about her right now. I still have so much to learn when it comes to parenting but I’m doing my best (we’re doing our best). That’s all a mama and papa can do. Some one said to me “you have to do the best you can with the information you have.” and that’s exactly what we are doing. I say this because there are times when a mama doubts herself and her decisions and I guess I’m still working through some of that doubt and insecurities as a new parent. I am so thankful for the support that I do have and encouragement I get from all different directions. I think support is very important for mamas especially new mamas. Just so we realize we’re not alone.
All that being said I’m going to sigh…smile and keep on keeping on because life is good!! And parenting is GREAT!

Written June 28th.
I have so many thoughts about this I can’t even put them in order. Today (Monday) was so challenging. Nonah would not sleep at all. She was cranky and whiney and clingy and I just couldn’t take it. I had to walk away and scream which I haven’t had to do in a really long time. It’s so crazy what goes on inside of me when I have a plan of what I want to do either for the day or just in that moment and it all gets blown to hell (excuse my language) because SOMEONE doesn’t let it happen. I’ve realized how selfish I really am and how hard it is to just give in and loose control. I don’t have to have everything together. I don’t have to have all the wash done this instant just because I want it done. It will still be there in an hour. The dishes are not going anywhere. My house is not going to burn down if I don’t get it cleaned TODAY. Now the other thing that gets me really frustrated at times is when all I want to do is sit down on the computer, drink my cup of coffee and surf the internet or email or whatever it is I want to do for however long I want to do it. NO its always cut short. Such silly things and as I write this I feel ashamed that I get so upset when I can’t do what I want when I want but you really don’t realize how consuming kids are until you have them. I’m just still adjusting and it is healing for me to vent here.
So feel free to vent back mamas!

I’m sure there will be more on motherhood in the future. Thanks for listening!

“Parents who accept and love the child God has given them will produce loving, godly children. And those parents will be loved in return.”

Lots of firsts!

It has been a busy week for little miss Noni. She is experiencing all kinds of firsts which is so exciting for her and for us. Shes been cruising as they call it, ya know walking and holding onto stuff and she lets go and stands all the time. But last Saturday night out of no where she just started taking one step at a time and flopping on the floor. She kept doing it and doing like it was a game and singing and playing. Now every day since then she has gotten better and better and is now up to about 9 steps in a row. It is so incredible how much a baby learns and grows all in one year and pretty much all by themselves. They are so smart and so brave. Like Peter said now all she has left is talking. Obviously theres much more but the real biggies are somewhat covered. Its so cute to see those tiny little legs make that little girl walk. She'll be running before we know it.


Then she (all by herself) decided to go down the step that we have. Its just one thank goodness and shes only fallen twice. Shes still trying to master that one. Again so brave, so cute.

What else. She ate chocolate for the first time this week. Loves it. and eggs.


She swam in her first kiddie pool. She went in her cousins pool with her Nee-Nee and then she got an early b-day present from Nee-Nee and Poppy...her own kiddie pool. So her and her little girl friends went in together. She loved it and of course tried to walk in it so fell under a couple of times. Shes going to be a big swimmer I think.


She got her first doll. We were at a yard sale and the guy offered her a free stuffed animal. She picked a teddy. Then I saw this doll that looked homemade and quite unique so I picked it up and Nonah immediatly hugged it and went to kiss it. The guy gave that to us for free too since it was for Nonah. Well when we went to get in the car I had to take it away to get her in her seat and she started screaming, more than usual. As soon as I put it in her lap she hugged it and was fine. She stopped crying, held it the whole way home and fell asleep hugging it. It was the cutest thing ever. Later on she was handing her toys to it. LOL. How sweet, already sharing.


She saw her first fireworks last night. We didn't know how she was going to do because she gets startled by loud sudden noises and will even cry. We headed out at 8:45 pm so of course she fell asleep on the way there and slept til they started at 9:30. We left her in her car seat and she couldn't care less. Her eyes were half open
she just stared at them. She showed no emotion at all because she was just so tired. So atleast she didn't cry!

Lots of firsts indeed!!

Lets celebrate Petey!!

I didnt anything super special for Petey on his first fathers day celebration but I did get him a nascar tshirt and a card to let hime know how much I love parenting with him. He spent the day doing all kinds of manly things so he was happy. The day started with golf bright and early with the guys and then watched the race and then played Xbox. It was a fun day for him.

Its just so amazing to see the Petey that I married grow and change and mature into the man he is now. He is such a great father and loves that little girl soooo much. She melts his heart and that just melts mine. I love how proud he is of her and how much he enjoys being with her. Shes just molds right into our family so perfectly. I love seeing her grow up and become more in love with her daddy. I cant wait to hear her call him daddy too.


Uhhh this is just the biggest blessing ever. I cant express how totally awesomely amazing it is to being raising a child with this man. Its so cool how God just fit us together so perfectly. Thank you God for my Petey!

Garden update

Our cute little garden is doing soso. It is incredibly hard to stay on top of the weeding but its growing pretty good. We are still in the learning process of this whole gardening thing but its fun. It gives Peter and I something to do together. We did loose 3 out of our 6 tomato plants to blite? (we think) which is a total bummer because tomatoes are my absolute fav veggie in the whole world. But my mom gave me a few more to try again. We'll see how it goes.
So far we've had lots of radishs, some arugala, green leaf lettuce, and a few meals of snap peas. Yum!! And lots more on the way!


I can't wait to garden with Nonah some day! For now she just watches, sings to me and eats chives and raw peas! :)

Women

I just can't express how healing it is to be able to talk to other women. As you all read my posts last week you know Ive been processing alot of things and Im just so thankful for the women God has put into my life. Theres something about being able to be heard, maybe not understood but heard. Ya know. To vent, complain, laugh, sympathize with, and cry with someone who is probably going through the same thing or already has or atleast something similar.
Talking to my husband is just as important actually more important and he listens and gives his input and I love hearing his point of view. BUT as he said the other night after I was explaining something he says "Women are so screwed up." Now he does not mean that in a bad way and if you know my husband you can probably picture him saying that but he just doesn't get it. We are so different then men. It's just the way God made us, very different. Which is why marriage is such a beautiful thing and a challenge.
Anyway its just awesome to be able to bond with other women. It helps me process, learn, and get perspective on things. And it keeps me sane!!!! :)

Randoms@the Wrights!

So June is just flyin on by like usual. But we are trying are best to have fun. I have been dealing with so much emotional stuff and processing it all I haven't been posting about the fun stuff thats been going on. So heres goes.
Last week was my cousins wedding which I was in. It was a beautiful simple outdoor wedding. It's always extra special to see someone you grew up with grow up and start her own life/family/adventures. In preparing for the wedding I was a little worried about how the day was going to go with Nonah since it was an all day affair, 10am for hair/makeup, pics at 2pm, wedding at 5pm, and then reception. I have had babysitters but only for an hour to three hours at the most. She spent the day with daddy and they actually had a great day with no problems at all. She is a very active baby and daddy really knows how to entertain her and she even took a nap in his arms. Shes such a trooper at the wedding she was the star of the show (well besides the bride of course). She only had one tiny meltdown and recovered quickly.

This is our new car that we got like a month ago now. Its a bad pic i know but its the only pic we have right now. We love it. Its just so nice to have a vehicle thats reliable and with all the fancy upgrades that we're not used to. Peter drives a 74 VW bug and a 72 (or somewhere around there) ford truch so this is a big difference.

We got a new couch last week. Well new to us. My aunt got it at a thrift store because she loved the pattern but her cats were tearing it up. Sooo. She thought of me because I loved the pattern too. We have only ever had furniture thats been picked off the side of the road or hand me downs, which is great but they usually arent the prettiest things ya know. So this one is a hand me down but is so cool. I love the vintage yet modern pattern. It is huge though. It fills our living room. But it works! yay!

Its always great to have connections with someone who has a pool. In our case grandma D (my mom) has one. I took Nonah in for her first time last week and she loved it. She didnt really know what to do and of course tried to eat the water. Then the second time she was totally freaked out because of how cold it was. I mean it was coolldd. So she wouldnt go in her seat, I had to hold her.

My cousin Sarah hung out with us!

I never thought I would dress my little girl in such girly, frilly, pink outfits but man shes just so cute in them. I love the bows and flowers and ruffles and when its hot and humid out she gets such cute curls. Her hair is really growing. So the girlier the better Ive realized.


Aahhh. I guess thats it for now. Looking forward to much more fun in the sun!!

Peace

God is so amazing. Ya know how its so much easier to look back at a situation or time in your life and see what God was doing. But when you’re in the midst of it its not so easy to see. He’s always teaching, stretching, and growing us even when we don’t see it. I am so thankful for the time of growing I’m in right now. My week started out horrible and is ending a little brighter. The power of the mind. Anyway.

I just watched the movie Click and it has got me thinking. If you’ve never seen it, its about always looking forward to the future and wanting more than what you have. I don’t want to wish my life away. Ya know. The storyline of the movie just speaks to me because of what Gods been trying to teach me. To enjoy the simple things in life. I want to find joy in my days more than I do. I want to enjoy doing the laundry and cleaning the house because that is my job right now. This is the season of life that I am in right now. I want to enjoy every minute of it. Yes I will have good and bad days everyone does but I’m not content. I want to find a contentment that lasts.

Im still adjusting to life as we know it. Being a mom for one thing but then staying at home and having one income and no more just Pete and Keni. Sorry if I’ve already blogged about this but it’s something Im still processing. Still praying about and working through it. God isn’t giving up on me that’s for sure.

Im just really at peace right now with where Im at. I have hope for my future but am in love with the present. Im excited about this journey Im on of discovering who I am as a wife, mother and homemaker. That’s me, that’s my title and it makes me smile.

Life

I sit here in my living room watching the candle flicker, just got Nonah to bed, Peters playing X-box, and I’m thinking about my week. Trying to figure out how to express in words the things that I have been feeling. I don’t know if it is a woman thing or maybe it just happens to me but I am an emotional rollercoaster. I just want some stability in my life but no I am up then down then some where in between and all over the place. It seems like I’ll have a good week or even a couple of good weeks and then boom something happens that just sets me off the deep end and I just plummet. I allow that one thing to upset me or get me thinking or become negative and just head downward. Sometimes I can snap out of it but its not always that easy. Then I’m in a “funk” (that’s what I call it) for a few days or however long it takes to get back on track. I don’t know why I get off track so easily or so often. I guess I’m sensitive but is this common for all women or am I too sensitive? There’s all kinds of things I could list but they’re no excuse, right? Boundaries. I need to have boundaries and not allow others to effect my emotions. I heard a teaching on this that everyone needs to take control of their own emotions and feelings and stop blaming others for them. Such a powerful teaching but man it’s a hard thing to do. It involves forgiveness, humility, and strength to own up to your feelings and take control. That’s what I’ve realized this past week that I can pray all I want about a situation but if I don’t have that humility and my heart isn’t in the right place its not going to do much.

That’s the big picture of what happens to me but then when Im in that funk I become a horrible person. I hate myself, my life, my situation, okay I shouldn’t say hate because that’s really strong, but I get disappointed and frustrated and negative. I get lazy, I do nothing productive, I feel worthless and I feel like life is pointless, I can’t think clearly and I become numb. I can’t feel anything and almost have no emotion. Its like if I could step out of my body and shake it I would.

So I’ve been praying about it and talking to Peter about stuff and then tonight I was listening to Jason Upton (amazingly anointed worshipper, you should check him out if u never heard of him) and the words to the song just spoke to me so directly. “I will not let pain have its way, Im gonna trust in you” and its like someone flipped a switch and I just teared up and cried out to Him and a weight was lifted and my heart was light again. I feel again. I have joy and peace in my heart. I trust Him again. Why couldn’t I have it two days ago? I don’t know but I feel like these ups and downs are God teaching me things about myself. He’s dealing with me. I see that now and am thankful for it but going through it just down right sucks. Uh Im so thankful to be on the other side, heading up the rollercoaster. Its so exhausting to be upset. I feel free and back to my old self again. Yay!

But ladies I truly would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. What topic, I don’t even know what to call it but is your life an emotional rollercoaster too or do you have words of wisdom? Ill take it all. Its always comforting to know that you’re not the only one going through something. And please thing of me in your prayers!

Noni and her veggies!

You mamas out there now how it is with our sweet babes, wherever we are that's where they want to be as well. At dinner time is when Noni gets to play in the kitchen while I make dinner. So what better thing to play with then VEGGIES! Some how some way she has gotten a hold of a number of different veggies and I just had to take a pic. She likes them more when they are whole then when its actually time to eat them.

cucumber

celery

radish

radish & cabbage

sweet potato
Such a cutie! Who knows maybe she'll be a veggie lover like her mama!

Lovely Weekend!

What a lovely weekend we had. Full of family, fun, food, and sunshine. Peter and I got to spend 4 full days together in a row. It was a break that Peter really needed. A chance to relax, to do things around the house, not have to think, and not have to DO anything. Sometimes we all just need that. Unfortunately there are times when you can’t get that break unless it’s a holiday. So praise the lord for holidays.

We had two picnics at our house. Thirty people on Sunday and ten people on Monday. I just love entertaining. Its so fun to have people come to our house, its like bringing them in to our world a little bit. We had tons of food did lots of visiting.






Played volleyball, played crouquet, played horse shoes,


My favorite parts of the weekend:
going to the farmers market with Peter
watching Peter play with Nonah outside
driving with the windows down and music blaring
seeing Noni being passed around and having so much fun
little tiny sunglasses
kids running through the "crazy daisy"
sweat beads on Nonis nose all the time
Nonis curly qs from all the humidity and sweat
picnic food all day long
games you only play with family
and the list goes on!