Motherhood

“Parenting is like gardening. You can not control the color of the flower or when it blooms, but you can pick the weeds and prune the plants so that the flower blossoms to greatest advantage.”



Written June 3rd.
I am going through a transformation that is indescribable. Its like I don’t even know who I was before I was a mother. I mean I do but that person was so different than who I am now. I have experienced the miracle of giving birth to another human being. How incredible is that. I am so blessed. Thank you God! Being a mother defines me, completes me and has helped me find myself. This is my calling.

I can’t believe what she does to me. The way I love every minute with her yet savor the moments with out her and long for our reunion again. She brightens my day, gives me purpose, teaches me and strengthens me. She shows me innocence and joy, she makes me happy every time I look at her. She has made me a better person. I truly believe that. She has shown me how to love in a new way using patience and understanding to direct my words and actions. She has taught me sacrifice and self control. (still have not mastered) Not just when it comes to taking care of her but also in other areas of my life. I’ve been able to focus on the simple things in life and find joy in them. Giving up the things that I “want” in order to have the things that I “need” is a brand new thing for me. I’m learning to not focus on material things for my satisfaction.

Written June 25th.
I’ve been working on this post for a while now. Not like it’s a masterpiece or anything I just have been adding my thoughts here and there to it because there’s just so much to say about motherhood. I love that little girl so much I can’t even think clearly sometimes. She has totally rocked my world (in a good way) and my heart aches just thinking about her right now. I still have so much to learn when it comes to parenting but I’m doing my best (we’re doing our best). That’s all a mama and papa can do. Some one said to me “you have to do the best you can with the information you have.” and that’s exactly what we are doing. I say this because there are times when a mama doubts herself and her decisions and I guess I’m still working through some of that doubt and insecurities as a new parent. I am so thankful for the support that I do have and encouragement I get from all different directions. I think support is very important for mamas especially new mamas. Just so we realize we’re not alone.
All that being said I’m going to sigh…smile and keep on keeping on because life is good!! And parenting is GREAT!

Written June 28th.
I have so many thoughts about this I can’t even put them in order. Today (Monday) was so challenging. Nonah would not sleep at all. She was cranky and whiney and clingy and I just couldn’t take it. I had to walk away and scream which I haven’t had to do in a really long time. It’s so crazy what goes on inside of me when I have a plan of what I want to do either for the day or just in that moment and it all gets blown to hell (excuse my language) because SOMEONE doesn’t let it happen. I’ve realized how selfish I really am and how hard it is to just give in and loose control. I don’t have to have everything together. I don’t have to have all the wash done this instant just because I want it done. It will still be there in an hour. The dishes are not going anywhere. My house is not going to burn down if I don’t get it cleaned TODAY. Now the other thing that gets me really frustrated at times is when all I want to do is sit down on the computer, drink my cup of coffee and surf the internet or email or whatever it is I want to do for however long I want to do it. NO its always cut short. Such silly things and as I write this I feel ashamed that I get so upset when I can’t do what I want when I want but you really don’t realize how consuming kids are until you have them. I’m just still adjusting and it is healing for me to vent here.
So feel free to vent back mamas!

I’m sure there will be more on motherhood in the future. Thanks for listening!

“Parents who accept and love the child God has given them will produce loving, godly children. And those parents will be loved in return.”